2 months later...

So it has been two months since my last post, but there is a good reason.  Nothing much exciting has happened since Minnie Driver.  Daniel and I went on a whale watching trip, and saw some fin whales. That was pretty surreal.  After that trip, we have both been obsessed with killer whales (not that we saw any that day).  I wish I could say that we haven't looked at hours of youtube videos on them, including half of the National Geographic collection, but I would be lying.  We both get so excited when we talk about them, so please feel free to ask us any questions you may have.  Nerd girl meets nerd boy=nerd love.

I have definitely settled into my job.  My boss was in France for one month studying French, so I had to run the show while she was gone.  I doubted myself in the beginning, but gradually began to gain confidence.  I think the biggest mistake I made was basing that confidence on the praise or criticism of the people above me.  I found myself freaking out if they were unhappy with me, and incredibly happy if they were showering me with accolades.  Thankfully, I had a very thought provoking conversation with a friend from New York that provided some peace and perspective.  

She is an artist, and doesn't have a traditional 40 hour a week job.  She often is concerned about money.  However, her statement to me was that in any role she has ever had, she "works for God".  And if God places her in a job that ends, He will somehow provide the next step.  Her sole responsibility was to work as if God was giving her performance review.  Wow.  What a thought.  I feel like I have always heard similar messages from my parents, but nothing that ever resonated as much.  From that day on, I have tried to look at it the same way.  God provided this job, and He will provide another one if this one ends.  All I can do is my best, and nothing more.  The rest is up to Him.  Although we think the employer has control over us, they do not.  What a fresh idea.

Another topic that has been on my mind a lot lately is the importance of transparency.  How often do we hide things about ourselves that we do not think will be received well?  Whether that be our belief system, our innermost struggles, or parts of our past (just to name a few), I think it is something that is all too common.  What is keeping us from understanding who we really are, and showing that to others?  The good and the bad.  I have been guilty of this in my life, but I believe true happiness requires one to be transparent.  To be honest and raw.  I think it is normal to still worry what people will think of you if you show them something new.  It is normal to care if what you tell them will change your dynamic.  But you must try, because there is freedom in transparency.  Freedom from inner voices that are telling you to be someone different.  There is freedom from darkness when you step into the light.